04 Aug HOW TO CHOOSE A TANTRA THERAPIST

When considering entering therapy of any kind including Tantra bodywork, massage and Tantra counseling, it is important to understand the ingredients necessary for the potential of successful treatment outcomes. Considering that much of the traumatic experiences, resulting attachment blueprint and characterology leading to specific behavioral, relational and /or somatic symptoms which brings the client to seek therapy in the first instance, remain in implicit memory, the unconscious and within a specific body armoring.
 
The ways in which to bring about positive change will include working with the armoring and making the unconscious conscious and this usually happens through transference and countertransference reenactments and remembering within the specific therapy. So it is very important for us to have a therapeutic framework to facilitate this ardent work and within the framework a negotiation of strong boundaries, which will help and encourage the transference remembering in the therapy. These boundaries within the therapeutic framework should outline specific fee structure, specific session times, specific session duration, therapist availability outside of session, what specifically the session will involve, what are the possible dangers of this style of therapy etc.,
 
In order for us as therapists to work in a healthy therapeutic way with a client it is essential that we are familiar with the concepts discussed above of transference / countertransference re-enactments and boundary setting whether its psychotherapy, somatic therapy and particularly if it’s a tantric massage, Tantra bodywork or Tantra counseling as it involves a much more intimate relationship between the therapist and client in a much shorter time period due to contact, touch and the nature of the work involved and so can bring about transference remembering very quickly which if gone unnoticed and colluded in can be extremely re-traumatizing to the client and damaging to both therapist and client.
 
It is therefore imperative for all of us as therapists, coaches, healers involved in any form of therapeutic relationship with a client to attend regular supervision which is a fantastic opportunity for personal and professional development and a platform to discuss and explore the transference and our countertransference which is ubiquitous in all therapeutic relationships including Tantra massage which is often excluded from this line of thinking yet the dynamic that is set up in Tantra massage therapy is a powerful catalyst for transference ,countertransference and boundary related challenges. If we as therapists or the client has unresolved sexual trauma it may manifest and most likely will manifest in such a space where opportune allows, such as an intimate space between therapist and client such as a Tantra session or Tantra massage. Again this acting out and manifestation of unresolved trauma is a natural, powerful and mostly unconscious phenomena, nevertheless our awareness is not brought to this it can have devastating consequences. This is the very nature of trauma.
 
It is a useful and rewarding endeavor to ask a therapist if and how often we engage in both supervision and personal development work, this may facilitate a good foundation of a therapeutic relationship and can assure the client that there is a certain commitment on the our part as therapists to explore our participation and resulting countertransference in the therapeutic relationship which will certainly help to create a more therapeutic space for both therapist and client. 
The person of the therapist is crucial, because the relationship with the therapist is the single most important component of the healing with a client.  When a therapeutic relationship is healing, it’s because the therapist has integrity, is not exploitative, and is sensitive, empathic, consistent, and trustworthy. Assuming the therapist is well trained and experienced–it’s more important to consider whom the therapist is than what he does. It’s certainly vital that you put your life story together as best you can.  But huge gaps may remain in your memory of your childhood trauma and relational betrayal.  Even so, healing is possible if you can experience a different, more positive relationship with your therapist than you had with the person from your past who betrayed, violated and abused you overtly or covertly , consciously or unconsciously and with others who enabled that abuse to occur.  If therapy goes well, you and your therapist together will create a bond that will change your ideas about what’s possible between two people. 
Throughout all this, your therapist should be able to establish and maintain a protected place for you to come and safely think and feel through things that have been out of your awareness or too scary to contemplate.

“Everyone sees the Unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart,

and that depends upon how much he has polished it. Whoever has polished it more

sees more–more Unseen forms become manifest to him.”

-Rumi

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