04 Aug TANTRA FOR SEXUAL PLEASURE
Tantra for Sexual Pleasure not Therapy, Is it possible to engage in Tantra for non-therapeutic reasons? It is absolutely true that we can provide sessions, workshops, groups and Tantra massage & bodywork for people who have an interest in Tantra, or in pursuit of education or even pleasure. It may feel that in these situations there is no need for a therapeutic framework. However this may be a dangerous assumption and one that can and certainly has resulted in situations where the client has left their Tantra therapist feeling that boundaries were too loose, boundaries were broken, that the therapist was getting needs met, that the therapist became emotionally involved with the clients process, that the therapist acted out countertransferential to erotic and romantic transference from the client and feeling re-traumatized that once again they have attracted unwanted attention, sexual advances or inappropriate relating.
If we are involved in Tantra as a therapist or a client there is a pretty good chance that at some point in our lives we realized that we were not living the life we wanted, we were blocked in some ways, we had shame around our sexuality, we could not have an intimate relationship or we were acting out sexually. At whatever stage of life we find ourselves with these realizations and whether we have acknowledged it or not, these are the symptoms of our early attachments as children to our caregivers and in particular the attachment or lack of attachment to our biological mother even in the prenatal environment. So if the very reason we are drawn to Tantra as a client or therapist is the very material that can actually resurface during our experiences with Tantra then it seems extremely important to bring our awareness to this fact and to bring more awareness to our trauma history as subtle as it may be particularly if we are the therapist. It is highly likely for our unresolved trauma history to resurface within therapy at some level and in fact will inform the very way we engage with our clients regardless of how professional we are. The very way in which the client approaches us as therapists and the therapy and engages with it will be influenced by the unresolved trauma.
To summarize this point whilst many Tantra therapists, coaches, educators provide treatments and sessions aimed at education and pleasure purposes and not for therapeutic purposes and many clients engage in Tantra bodywork sessions, Tantra workshops and Tantra massages for the purpose of pleasure and/ or with the intention of learning about Tantra. It is important as therapists that we are aware of our own unresolved trauma which will influence how we work and the unresolved trauma of the client which can be activated in the space and therefore it is always best to have therapeutic framework which can only enhance the experience for all involved. The Therapeutic framework will hold a space where the client feels cared for and safe, we as therapists feel safe in the knowledge that we are holding strong boundaries and that re-traumatization will not take place surely this is a necessary duty of care that all of us should have. The therapeutic frame will also allow us to refer a client on if we feel that what has surfaced within the session is beyond our ability or beyond the remit of the session. With therapeutic framework we can assure a certain standard of care, practice and education without the dangerous reenactments that arises from the ubiquitous transferential material from client’s unresolved trauma history. To develop a therapeutic framework within our practice we must be engaged in regular supervision work and regular personal and professional development to ensure we are processing our own trauma history.
“A good orgasm is satisfying, but a great orgasm can be a revelation of your deepest being, unfolding the truth of who you are in ecstatic communion with your lover.” ~David Deida